Soul Wiffle Month

The LowPress would like to remind you that July is SOUL Wiffle month. You are encouraged to celebrate the backyard roots of our beloved sport by "wiffling where you find yourself." This mantra is especially important during the extended allstar break when a wiffler may be tempted to let the edge off their world class plastic skills.

Since launching the "Wiffle Where You Find Yourself" campaign at last season's Wiffle Scramble, we have received many questions concerning appropriate times to wiffle. We hope the below guide will be of aid in your decision process.

I am at the dentist, about to go under to have my massive overbite fixed, should I wiffle?
No, this would be a poor choice as your motor skills will be dulled.

I am at a Hall and Oates concert, should I wiffle?
Yes, of course all music occurrences call for wiffle, but especially Hall and Oates during I Can't Go For That when that mean synth kicks in and they are obviously talking about a crappy breaking wiffle pitch.

I am at the beach with my family enjoying a cold Bartles and Jaymes, should I wiffle?
Yes, the beach is prime wiffle territory. Of course caution should be exercised when wiffling in shark infested waters. Please use the international sign for shark by wildly waving a wiffle bat in the air.

I am in an elevator going to the top of the Empire State Building, should I wiffle?
No, clearly there is not enough room to adhere to the suggested pitching distance as set forth by the governing rules of LowBall

I am driving by the Black Cloud's house after a long day of work and see him outside, should I wiffle?
YES, by all means get your wiffle on for even 30 minutes, arrive with cold beer and be greeted as a conquering hero who saved his family from a sinking battleship.

This Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by LowPress best seller "Swinging Bunt", the vibrant tale of one renegade wiffle league's fight for relevance and ridiculousness, available now from Amazon.