Wiffle Patriots Battle Out Wiffdependence

The surging Ox and Guap prove too much for the Cloud Show
Regular Season - Marquee
Game Date: 
July 1, 2012
Epicocity of Game: 

"We are few, but we play for many
We play for our brothers sitting in minivans in traffic on the way to the in-laws
We play for our brothers wandering the halls of Bed Bath and Beyond in search of curtains
Yes, we play for all the downtrodden middle age men who know not of ridiculous fun but only of bills and responsibility
Today, we make this Declaration of Wiffdependence and resolve to fight year after year, game after game. Yes, we shall fight, we shall fight for our right to wiffle
As you take this field of battle you shall not fear any Dark Clouds, nor an Ox and Show, you shall not fear any Ghosts of El Guapo
You shall pull your socks tall, you shall swing mightily and pitch fiercely, you shall find that epic Sunday morning buzz, for today, this the 1st day of July, today is our Day of Wiffdependence."

- Colonel Seth Wiffarner as prepared for the 5th consecutive Wiffdependence game

HST has the unfortunate designation of hosting the two games during the dog days of summer wiffle. Players become scarce, leaving the hardy wiffle patriots to battle it out in the summer heat. Due to scheduling conflicts at HST, the Wiffdependence game had to be moved to Sunday instead of its traditional time following the parade. The change in time left the forces depleted and ragged.

The Bristol minutemen of Black Cloud and the Show marched into position to defend the home field against the invading forces of The Ox and El Guapo. A hero's hero, Ox narrowly escaped the wrath of the crown and traveled many miles by foot under constant threat of further detention to take the mound. He displayed a Patriot's poise and continued his dominance at HST, throwing 7 innings while only giving up four runs.

The home team split pitching between the two players but were unable to come up with an answer for the surging Guapo and Ox. Guapo returned to the LowBaller of the Year discussion as his bat finally came alive, including a three run shot of of the struggling Cloud. It could have been uglier had it not been for a trifecta of huge defensive plays from the Black Cloud. This included throwing out the runner at home from the fence in left field, estimated by Gordon Wiffnofski to be a 79 ft throw, the deepest throw- out in LowBall history. He also followed up his Wiffsolstice dive with another diving juggling catch. These plays led LowBall scout George McNeilly to proclaim the Cloud a front runner for the Astroglide Slick Defense award. More surprising is his chief competition for the award, second year rookie Bento Box. The Box of Pain showed up late but continued his stellar play, knocking a drifter over the left field wall. Not only is the rookie sensation in the running for slick defense, he is also a dark horse for LowBaller of the Year. However, the true front runners are the Ox and Guapo and they showed their dominance emerging the hardy victors.

Player of the Game
First off he showed up against the greatest of odds, then he pitched a very strong 7 innings and hit the snot out of the plastic, a true hero
Astroglide Smooth Defense
Defensive Highlights: 
Saved 6 runs on three plays, two long distance throw outs and one diving Willie Mays style snag
Quote of the Game
we shall fight for our right to wiffle
Player quoted: