Rare Loggers Win in the Mud, the Bloodies, and the Beer

The mighty bats of the Loggers hold off the Hideki powered Lagers in a Wiffmuddial classic
Regular Season
Game Date: 
May 30, 2011
Epicocity of Game: 

Every year LowBall fans are treated to a handful of milestone games, celebrations that rev up the ridiculous. Wifflers eagerly circle the dates for Wiffmorial, Wiffdependence, the Midsummer's Classic, and of course Wifftober at least a few days early.

dEver since the memorable 2008 campaign, the first big bash of the LowBall season has been Wiffmorial (past recaps - 2010 and 2008). Wifflers consistently turn out in force, some for their first game of the season and some coming off a few warm-up matches. Despite this enduring enthusiasm, the game has rarely produced a classic battle that LowBall fans crave (back in 08 there were stats so we know for sure that game sucked ass).

This year a soggy, moist Burnham Field played host to Wiffmorial. It was apparent early on that this game would be different. Players not only turned up, but turned up slightly ahead of game time. They collectively worked to raise a few surfaces from the flooded Burnham field for the pitcher and batter as well as raise a few tasty beverages. With a healthy helping of veteran LowBallers and some fresh blood on hand, wiffle commenced only an hour after the proposed start time.

I, celebrated wiffle journalist Hugh Wifflerton, may have raised too many tasty beverages, some directly from the source, and have only a vague recollection of this classic battle of wiffle titans. As such I will let the photos tell the story.

Longtime rivals Lonichiro and Tremendous Thompson debate the heavy weather while waiting for LowBus patrons to emerge from a scheduled stop. Note the LowBus actually pulled into HST and picked up Black Cloud, proving the wife of Black Cloud wrong.
While work on the field progressed, veteran and partly deceased pitcher El Guapo gave the rookie Matt "we will come up with a better nickname than Justin" Bieber some pointers on field maintenance and pitching.
The Lagers used the latest in game management strategy and put the Surgeon on the mound before the bloodies took hold. The Surgeon continued his dominant pitching, looking like the young resident Surgeon of 2007.
In a rare move, the LowPress has awarded the Player of the Game to Hideki O'Leary of the losing Lagers. He crushed his first homer into the tall grass and then nearly refused to trot the bases. He kept the Lagers alive with a second ding late in the game. If not for the Surgeon's defense, Hideki would have claimed the defensive play of the game with a running grab in foul territory. He also exercised laser like focus to successfully complete this high five.
Lonichiro sported the customary cloth of the Sumo and managed to get J-Mac to pop out.
The Surgeon had limbered up by this point and provided the play of the game, a multi bobble snag that traversed the entire realm of the Beerman.
The Ghost of Guap welcomed rookie Tony "No One Show" Myrick to the big leagues with a stingy couple of pitches.
Both rookies appear to have mean swings and just need time to adjust to the blazing speed of the LowBall game.
LowBallers had resolved to not grab the low hanging nickname fruit for the rook. In fact the vast depth of LowBall pop culture knowledge was on display as many variations of a Leave It To Beaver theme were thrown out. However, with a face that pretty, it is going to be difficult to not stick the obvious Justin reference.
Not only did Jody "Short Stack J-Mac" Stillwell shrink the strike zone with his signature crouch, he also sunk himself a few inches into the mud. It is a truly crafty player that can shrink a fixed sized strike zone.
Just a phenomenal talent, known as the Natural, yes folks that's West Coast. He showed up well after the first pitch, as is his custom, but threw everyone off when he left to purchase some beer and ice. Perhaps he was on Phoenix time for the game.
The home fans arrived late but quickly took to the mud as the Black Cloud tried to get off the mound before he drank the whole bottle of vodka.
The closer, Black Cloud, took the mound in the 8th with the Loggers clinging to a 1 run lead. Tremendous waved his hands and blessed the game as a classic. Cloud would later state that he struggled a bit on the mound but he managed to hold the line and shut down the Lagers to preserve the Logger victory.

Some Partly Sunny stats for the first two games:
6 innings pitched
17 strike-outs
3 walks
0 hits
0 runs
1 ball in play.
Hopefully this Wiffmorial is reflective of the season as a whole, a well fought, friendly battle of wifflers that brings the collective LowBall community together in celebration.

Player of the Game
Two over the fence, the first crushed into Whiting, a slick out of bounds catch nearly toppling the Ox's garden, and strong pitching
Astroglide Smooth Defense
Defensive Highlights: 
The multi bobble catch while covering half the field was without a doubt the play of the game and earns the Surgeon this week's smooth defense.