Commentary

Hot Rod Spotted in Bristol, TN

LowBall doctors have been unusually tight lipped about the status of Hot Rod Beck following a late night trip to the ER.  Reports have been confirmed that he suffered a significant laceration to the ring finger of his pitching hand.  Confusion has swirled over the severity and the impact on his availability to throw in the big game fast approaching.  Word started to spread that Hot Rod was in Bristol, TN on Monday and would be ripping up the local speedway.  The LowBall snoops quickly ran off and arrived just in time to see HR claiming to have won the race.  Many questioned if any race had ever taken place.  However, HR can be seen in the above photo acting as if he did something of consequence.  The over the hill pitcher was asked a few timely questions as he departed.  When his ability to throw was questioned, all he said was, "I have a thumb and at least one finger, I don't see it as an issue."  

RUMOR | HST lives

 

The LowBall rumor mill has been a buzz following the release of the above photo from the Bristol scouting network.  The spy was only able to snap one shot before a fierce guard dog ran him off of the property.  The photo, which appears quite ordinary to the average observer, shows a short cut on the field of play and an opaque pool strategically placed over the traditional pitcher's mound.  Other observers stated they saw the full ground's crew diligently raking the field and removing the excess trimmings.  

This fresh intel has led to vehement speculation around a possible upcoming game at the only downtown venue.  Hunter S. Thompson Memorial Greens (HST) opened its doors late in 2007 season.  With a 7 foot fence, distinctive paint, and themed games HST became a favorite stop on the LowBall circuit.  The field has played host to such classics as the original Wiffdependence Game, Wiffmorial day, Ich Bin Ein Wiffler, and of course two years of Wifftober championships.

Following last season's Wifftober classic, the owners of HST quickly turned their attention to field renovations to strike the pain of a dismal and stinging loss.  With the coveted Lord Wiffle's trophy residing in the hills of the rival Lincoln, the HST crew set out to ready the field for another fine season of wiffle with the goal of bringing the wiffle bat pillared trophy home.  Unfortunately the financial collaspe of 08 caught much of HST's investment in white plastic futures.  With no funds, the bare frame of the future clubhouse stood in solitude through the winter.  

As the new season approached word started to circulate that HST may not host wiffle at all.  The Commish graciously kept HST on the schedule and when things became dire turned to the newest field, Burnham Field, to fill the void.  As the season has wore on, fans have questioned whether or not HST was going to be ready for the Wifftober epic.  Owner HR Beck has been mostly silent only saying, "The trophy is coming home." when asked about the field.

Now it appears that HST will not only be ready for the big game but may play host to a regular season game or two.  More to come as information becomes available.

Revised Proposed LowBall Schedule Leaked to Press

Lincoln- Having not yet been fully vetted by Widows of Wiffle (WOW) scheduling sub-committee, copies of the revised proposed 2009 LowBall schedule have been floated out to various media sources. The source of the leak was undisclosed in the media packages. However, a high ranking LowBall represenitive said to be "very close" to the decision making process spoke on the condition of anonymity stating, "I can't believe the Widows are going to have a problem with the new scheduling format and organization. I am confident that they will realize that the Scheduling Board really responded in a pro-active manner to the vast majority of concerns outlined in the WOW Report. I believe we will see it approved on a first vote, but don't quote me on that." The new schedule does, in fact, seem to represent a new age of wiffle, not only balancing the WOW interest, but also the Offspring Foundations demands to be constantly entertained. Widows of Wiffle will be reviewing the revised proposed schedule over the next week.

 

REVISED PROPOSED 2009 LOWBALL SEASON

June 05 Fri 5:00 Game #2, Guys Only Please- Ox Yard, Lagers Home

June 13 Sat 1:00 Game #3, Collective Child Observation, Lincoln Sports, Loggers Home

June 21 Sun 9:00 Game #4, GOP – GapBridge Field, Lagers Home

June 26 Fri 5:00 Game # 5, Burnam Feild, Loggers Home

July 05 Sun 2:00pm Game #6, Family – Burnam Feild, Lagers Home

July 12 Sun 4:00pm Holy MatriWiffle - Hopyard

July 19 Sun 9:00 Game #7, GOP, Sunday Bloody Sunday- Ox Yard , Loggers Home

July 24 Fri 5:00 Game # 8, CCO - HST, Lagers Home

July 29 Wed 5:00 Game # 9, GOP - Friendly Confines, Loggers Home

Aug 01 Mid-Summer Classic Tourney - Friendly Confines

Aug 09 Sun 9:00 Game #10, GOP - GapBridge Field, Lagers Home Aug 15 Sat 2:00 Game #11 - Family Road Trip to Hinsburg or Hopyard/ Ox Yard/Lincoln Sports, Loggers Home

Aug 23 Sun 2:00 Game #12, CCO - Hopyard/ Ox Yard/Lincoln Sports, Lagers Home

Aug (27-30)   TBA

Sept 04/05/06 OFF

Sept 12 Sat 3:00 Game #14, CCO - GapBridge Field, Lagers Home

Sept 20 Sun 2:00 Game #15, GOP - HST, Loggers Home

Sept 26 Sun 10:00 Game #16, GOP - GapBridge Field, Loggers Home

Oct 03 Sat 9:00/2:00 Wifftober Championship – GapBridge/HST

 

 

 

Saturday CCO Wiffle!!!!!

We have have old school wiffle today, July 25, 3:00, GapBridge Field.

What Dreams Are Made Of

"What are you afraid of? To wake up and find this is what dreams are made of"

- Prev1, Swollen Members "Groundbreaking"

 Read more

WIFFDEPENDENCE 2009

July 5, 2009
Burnham Feild
Waltham, Vermont
Game time, 9:07am
Family Grill at Noon

New Website Work Starts Today

Finally, the stimulus dollars have found their way to LowBall.

Most observers missed the small earmark that Senator Sanders slyly added at the 11th hour. Deeply dismayed by the lack of activity on the LowBall site over the winter months and seeing the resultant depressed voters, Sanders schemed up a way to ensure that the site would be rejuvenated.

Like most aspects of the stimulus, this earmark has been slow to make it way to the end user. Finally, with Wiffdependence looming in the near future, word has come from the Treasury that indeed the earmark is available for immediate usage. Hot Rod Beck will benefit directly, receiving no less than 3 40 oz. of High Life per 4 hour timeframe to fuel the redesign of LowBall Wiffle.

In opposition to typical public reaction, the nation has embraced this earmark and eagerly awaits a happy fun new site for LowBallers to dispense ample amounts of BS to the interneting world.

Please help this cause by offering any site suggestions, like now.

Loggers and Lagers play for first place in Waltham tonight

Burnnam Feild, Waltham< Vermont; Game time 5:17

New Venue Hailed as a Success

It is not everyday that we get to inaugurate a new venue in the hallowed halls of Lincoln Old-School Wiffle. Many thought that five Wiffle venues spread across three towns were enough. (O.K only four active venues, Gap-Bridge, Hunter S. Thompson, the Friendly Confines, The lovely new Burnham field in Waltham - nicknamed the Ox Yard - and the now, sadly defunct, Twin Oaks) I, for one, still remember the ridicule and scorn heaped upon the wiffling world by a certain Lincoln writer, who shall not be named, in a Burlington Free Press article two years ago. I think Bojhalian (oops) is still in hiding after the commissioner issued a fatwa for his head on a platter. But I digress... It was with great pomp and circumstance that the expansion minded commissioner christened the newest venue in Lowball at the Lincoln Sports field. It was, no one should be surprised, an instant classic. Driven to solve the home field disadvantage conundrum, and with what undisclosed sources say was intense pressure from the WOW (Widows of Wiffle) lobby. The commissioner leapt into action fashioning the first portable field in Lowball history. Everyone agreed that for CCO (Collective Child Observation) games it was essential to establish a field in neutral territory. The benefits of the baseball diamond behind the fire house became immediately evident as pitchers began to toe the slab and bear down on hitters in what was an uncharacteristically low scoring game. Until the sixth inning that is. Tommy "Trot" Thompson increased his scoreless inning streak to six as his bounce back from his catastrophic ten run, five dinger inning begins to look more like an anomaly as it fades in the distance. He added to his impressive outing with two solid doubles and some other single base hits that show this veteran has come to play. Jon "Shoeless, West coast, Wingman, Howard" Howell (a.k.a. Wing sauce) continued his impressive season by throwing shut out ball and continuing to rap the ball soundly. The unit showed up for a few brief innings and managed to escape with only two walked in runs. Indeed it looked as if those unearned runs would be the only two in the game as The Surgeon and Lonichiro were shutting down the Loggers on the mound, but were not able to string together enough solid hitting to get anyone across the plate.
Then came the sixth. El Guapo, fueled by his smoldering rivalry with Lonichiro, called a conference on the mound, sending signals to his fielders about what was about to unfold. Unfortunately, unable to read his complex system of signals, his fielders missed some bleeders up the third base line, which coupled with a walk or two left the Handsome one in a bases loaded pickle. When El Guapo left one hanging right in the wheel house of the unpredictable Lonichiro, there was nothing he could do but watch it sail over the yellow tape. After the game El Guapo's translators seemed a little stymied about how to translate what he'd said to the media in a way that could be repeated on air saying only, "He said it was a good pitch, only except he hit it." The rivalry continues...
Kudos to the commissioner on an exceptional addition to the hallowed lowball tradition.

In unprecedented move, Commissioner changes Sunday’s scheduled game to Saturday at 1:00

In echo of seasons past, the Commissioner of LowBall, T., has changed Sunday’s scheduled game due to undisclosed “scheduling irregularities”. The Loggers (1-1) will host the Lagers (1-1) SATURDAY @ 1:00 SHARP at the Lincoln Sports (firehouse) in yet another new LowBall venue.

Interim president of the Players Aassociation, Lonichiro, Had no comment except “Wow, WOW is going to have a field day with this.” T. was unavailable for comment.