Commentary

Hark! What Yonder Wiffle Breaks?

Dark was the month of August. Fans and writers alike stood agape at fallow fields of play, dumbfounded by the utter lack of interest in a sport once teeming with enthusiasm. The inkwells of the LowPress all but dried up.

Any astute fan of a game knows that sooner or later there will be some stoppage of play that no official can resume. Somewhere in the summer of 2010 LowBall reached adolescence and sat alone with a bottle of pills, twisted on Mad Dog and wondering at the meaning of it all. Will we see LowBall next year, next month, next weekend? I wonder will LowBall even make it through the night?Read more

Is El Guapo Dead?

As the dust settles from the weekend's drama filled Mid Summer's Classic, the questions start to arise. Why was there no funeral for El Guapo and where is the body? The LowPress has petitioned the Friendly Confines for the opportunity to view the deceased. However to date, these requests have been firmly denied.

A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "perhaps the LowPress should spend more time writing about the actual wiffle and less time fabricating these tall tales."Read more

A Summer Slacktastic?

Well my fellow wiffle fanatics, it has been a roller coaster of a week and we are just getting to the heart of the plastic. On a stormy and dark hump day, El Guapo shocked the LowBall nation by canceling the highly anticipated Summer Classic due to lack of player responses. As the masses collectively grieved the loss of such a storied event, news came down that the oft troubled El Guapo had been rushed to the Betty Ford clinic shortly after the cancellation announcement. Midnight vigils rose across the nation as fans held onto hope that their hero would emerge. Sadly, it was not to be and with the official death notice, chaos erupted.Read more

The History of the Summer Classic

EDITOR'S NOTE: In response to recent events The LowPress has decided to rerun this article from Femy LeBouche. It has been enhanced with photos from the original event.Read more

Wiffle field discovered in Northfield

A recent scouting trip to the other side of the Greens has uncovered a gem of a field in Northfield, VT.

An attempt at contact was made with the owners, who apparently take their Wiffle seriously.

Lowball nation will be glad to know that there are other people out there who take their ridiculousness as seriously as we do. (Well, maybe not quite so seriously, but seriously enough to put a Citgo sign and a coke bottle out in center field.)

We can only hope that these folks contact us and would like to do an exchange program.

Wifflers of the world, Unite!

Wiffdependence, a born classic

As the spectacle of this Saturday's parade fades into the past, the Lagers will face off against the Loggers in the annual Wiffdependence Day game. After a year's absence, the most storied regular season game in LowBall returns to Bristol's only downtown wiffle facility. Not only will this be the third installment of the patriotic plastic bash, it will also mark the season opener of the freshly renovated Hunter S. Thompson Memorial Greens. The grounds crew has been sort of hard at work prepping the greens for the highest level of play.Read more

Remastered Classic | A Belgian Wiffle

The LowPress is pleased to bring its readers the remastered classics series. Utilizing the latest in LowPress technology, we will be touching up some of the games that helped shape LowBall into the league that it is today.

This week we look at "The Belgian Wiffle". This game was played just prior to the first and only Summer Classic. It pitted the core of the LowBall players against each other in a traditional 3 on 3 match-up. Waffles were served and Belgian beer was tasted. The game featured one of the most famous defensive plays in the history of LowBall, a full sprint leap by Hot Rod to rob The Commish of a game ending double.Read more

A Black Cloud Cometh?

As first reported by LMZ, the embattled pitcher Hot Rod Beck has made a drastic and unprecedented move. Early this week, papparazzi staked outside of the HST training complex reported that Hot Rod participated in a fierce batting practice with long time hitting coach, Bob. Midway through the barrage a young fan, possibly his daughter, darted onto the field and either asked for an autograph or declared that dinner was ready, details are unclear. However his response was clear, "no one here goes by Hot Rod". Sparked by this odd statement, the papparazzi swarmed the hitting coach as he was on his customary run through town. Bob only said, "I don't know man, you saw it, he just seems pissed."Read more

Shrinking Distribution Could Spell Ruin for The LowPress

Just as The LowPress completes an unprecedented overhaul and expansion of services, it appears storm clouds are gathering. This spring, The LowPress took an unorthodox approach to their presentation format, mimicking the style of a failing industry. While one or two applauded the action, the general readership seems to be unmoved by it.

I, celebrated writer of the wiffle, Hugh Wifflerton, caught up with Editor-In-Chief of the LowPress, Seth Beck, to discuss.

"Well, you know we thought that when people came to the site, you know those wiffle fans obsessed with their Sunday paper, that they would feel at home."Read more

Lonichiro Mysteriously Goes on the DL

Extra, Extra read all about it!Read more