Commentary

My Interview* with Dustin Pedroia

Boston -
As the premier connoisseur of high velocity petroleum I have scoured the globe to bring you interesting information and insight from fascinating people and exotic locales. I can think of no locale more exotic than my imagination and no one more fascinating than a short white man who likes to play a children's game. Since I could not get access to the infamous MVP of Wifftober VII, Lonichiro - apparently he is on an extended visit to the Happy Home for Struggling Sluggers - I have managed to secure an interview with the next most impressive short white man, Dustin Pedroia*, of the Boston Red Sox.

Le Wiffleur - Dustin, may I call you Dustin?
Dustin Pedroia - Sure, I guess.
LW - Great! Well I am sure you are a busy guy with lots of stuff to do so I will make it brief.Read more

A Hughmetric Season 8 Preview


No one denies the impact of the Sabermetrics revolution on LowBall. Now that all the teams (Loggers and Lagers) have access to the same metrics and same strategies, General Managers are scrambling to find that next advantage. Luckily for them, I, celebrated (and published) wiffle journalist, Hugh S. Wifflerton, spent many long evenings this winter with my abacus and slide rule to devise the next level of metrics, the Hughmetrics.

Instead of the traditional long winded season preview that no one reads, I am introducing a few of these metrics today in a slightly shorter winded piece that no one will read. Enjoy and enjoy wiffle.Read more


News from the Far East

It was a big weekend in the small village of Waitsfield Vermont. A promotion from local beer maker Lawsons’s Finest Liquids caused traffic in both directions of Route 100 and an appearance by the Easter Bunny made parking virtually impossible at the Village Square Market. But away from all this hustle and bustle, a bigger story was unfolding.

The newest wiffleball stadium to be maybe possibly added to the fringe of the Lowball League was undergoing major renovations. Head Groundskeeper Whanny, with favorable weather and nothing better to do with his time since his WoW and daughter were out of town for the weekend, began the painstaking process of redesigning and building a new Whannywood.Read more

Musings of a Celebrated Wiffle Journalist

Last season I made the decision to leave my regular job as famed wiffle journalist for the LowPress to concentrate on writing "Where There is Smoke, There Are Clouds - the biography of The Black Cloud". Following the inaugural Wiffle Scramble, I started working on "Swinging Bunt" on the side. When the Cloud learned that I was to release "Swinging Bunt" ahead of his rather uninteresting tale, he was visibly upset, as he typically is, but insisted I include a passage he had originally wrote for the LowPress. Here is a portion of that piece, included in Holy Matriwiffle section of Swinging Bunt.Read more

LowPress Releases Book "Swinging Bunt: Inside the Mediocre Rise of LowBall"

In late November celebrated wiffle journalist Hugh S. Wifflerton disappeared to a remote cabin in Orwell, Vermont with only a handle of Bulleit and a dream. Less than a month later, the LowPress is proud to announce the official release of "Swinging Bunt - Inside the Medoicre Rise of LowBall" For the first time ever, many of the above average game recaps have been assembled in one full color, slightly low quality, book. In addition to the lyrical renditions of the plastic perfection, Swinging Bunt includes over 90 pages of art and photography, some of it is actually good. LowPress Book Critic at Large, Simon McSorley had this to say about the 170 page epicRead more

Outrage mounts as sensational rookie, the Unshod One, cut from Wifftober VII roster

As early as 9:07 am this morning, the LowPress was swamped by calls (two) reporting the collection of a feisty crowd in front of the LowBall World Headquarters in Lincoln, Vermont. The crowd varied loud chants from "LET HIM IN" to "OUT WITH THE COMMISSIONER" to "WE WANT BACON". The source of this angered mob can be traced to an unilateral decision declaring rookie phenom The Unshod One ineligible for Wifftober VII. The decision was issued by the league's spokesman Tickle G. Spot yesterday afternoon after The Unshod One submitted his declaration of attendance at 12:01, apparently failing to meet the requirements of the league.

Chief protester Jacques Inseam of the Wifflepeace Organization stated,Read more

Wifftober VII - The Wifflerton Preview

After my rambling history of Wifftober broke records for readership (4 live humans), the LowPress' editors, of questionable ethics, approached me with a grip of cash to re-up my annual Wifftober preview. Due to an expansive gambling debt amassed at the Great Escape squirt gun horse races, I, celebrated wiffle journalist Hugh Wifflerton, drunkenly accepted the offer. So let's get it over.

The Game DayRead more

Black Cloud's Soul Wiffodyssey

There has been a notable absence in the LowBall ranks this year, namely the slightly opaque weather system, The Black Cloud. He declared his intentions to take some time early in the year through a post on the LowPress simply titled "the summer of soul wiffle." It is now known that the former LowBaller of the Year took a bit of an art sabbatical, creating some of the first wiffle art the world has ever seen. Here are some of the works to emerge from his time away from wiffle.Read more

The World’s First Wiffle Scramble at the Vermont Music Fest

You are cordially invited to the wiffle event of the year. The competition will unfold using the groundbreaking scramble format, allowing any individual wifflers to live the dream. The victors will enjoy the sweet taste of victory (perhaps from official sponsor Citizen Cider) straight from a trophy of great lore and splendor. Interested, here are the basic details:Read more

  • This is competitive, fast-pitch Wiffle
  • There will be no running, unless followed by a diving catch
  • Open to individual “Wifflers” -- you DON’T need a team to participate
  • Teams will be randomly selected every round
  • Single elimination scramble format
  • Players will be celebrated for prowess of play but also for the spirit they bring to the scramble

The Summer of Soul Wiffle