Hugh S. Wifflerton's blog

Lord Wiffle's Chalice: A Visual History

gNo piece of LowBall memorabilia carries so much history, no crown holds so much prestige as Lord Wiffle's Chalice. Wifflers the world over lie awake at night dreaming of getting just a sip from the sacred Chalice. There has been an air of mystery surrounding the origins of the trophy until I, celebrated wiffle journalist Hugh Wifflerton, uncovered all the details in this expose.Read more

Wifftober V: Whatever It Takes

Come this Saturday, LowBall Wiffle will proudly celebrate the 5th annual Wifftober championship, believed by many to be the finest wiffle match played in all of Addison County and part of Rutland. From its humble beginnings to its slightly less humble current state, Wifftober represents the pinnacle of LowBall, the opportunity to leave a mark on history and taste success directly from the sacred Lord Wiffle's Chalice.Read more

The Gentleman's Wiffle - Masters of Wiffle Announced

Earlier today, I, celebrated wiffle journalist Hugh Wifflerton, received shocking news that the mid summer's classic would be cancelled. I was choking on the fried chicken I was having for breakfast, when the informant went on to explain the alternative, more refined event.

The Friendly Confines will place host to the inaugural Masters of Wiffle next Friday. The spectacle promises to bring a new level of sophistication to LowBall.Read more

Deadspin attempts the LSD No No - video game

Full write-up at deadspin.com

It's working!

I started to groove. Through the first 4 2/3 innings of Game 4, Dock had no-hit the Padres. This was easy. The pixelated field was so lush and vibrant, ground zero for some damn good video-game baseball, courtesy of me, the shaggy dude with a head full of low-grade lysergide. I was putting on an absolute clinic for these imaginary spectators, not to mention Craggs and Toder. "You're cruising right along," one of them said, or maybe it was the hydrangea. They marveled at how quickly I'd mastered Dock's palm ball.

A Fast Few with the Ghost of Guap

After a mysterious disappearance last season, fan favorite El Guapo has returned to the LowBall stage almost as mysteriously. It is unclear if this incarnation is of the natural world or not. Regardless, he looked pretty damn sharp from both the rebuilt GapBridge mound and swinging away at the plate. I, celebrated wiffle journalist Hugh Wifflerton, caught up with the Ghostly One after the game for the first edition of "A Fast Few." We will be catching up with the larger than life personalities of LowBall through-out the season to capture their candid comments following the game. Enjoy.


HUGH: The swing looked tight, how did it feel to slap some plastic around?

GHOST OF GUAP: thankse to God for giving me the talent to play this game at such a high level. I try to keep it simple and let me abilities take over - see the ball out of the pitchera hand, wait for a pitch to hit and try not to do to much With each pitch. Bit yes, overall I was happy with the way I swing the bat for the first try of the season.

HUGH: You were off the field for a good while, but your pitches looked awfully tight. How did the arm hold up afterwards and any particular pitches you were especially happy with?

GHOST OF GUAP: My felt very good with no pain. I've been tossing coconuts and eating lots of home cooking down in domineva - but its nice to be back in Vermont and see my friends.

HUGH: Thoughts on the improvements at GapBridge?

GHOST OF GUAP: I feel so lucky to play at Gap Bridge. Wher I from we don't have fields like that, its so beautiful and and all the great wiffle players come to play there.Read more

Signs You May Have a Wiffle Problem

9. You started mowing your field (lawn) to exacting standards in March even though the first game isn't until May.

8. You cite "the beerman" defense while arguing with your wife about where to go on vacation.

7. The greatest moments in your life have been the birth of your children, your wedding, and the first time you drank from Lord Wiffle's chalice. Not necessarily in that order.

6. You claimed your newborn's middle name was wiffle and everyone believed you.

5. You have a large collection of socks that you pull up to your knees as part of a uniform and not an outfit.

4. Kids around town know you only by your wiffle nickname.Read more

A Fifth of LowBall

Fear not parched fans of LowBall, your thirst for hard nosed wiffle is about to be quenched. As the wintery white recedes to the green of summer, LowBallers slowly wake from their winter wiffle slumber, shaking the dust off bits yellow and white plastic in anticipation of epic battles to come. It is the grandest of times; a clean slate, a fresh start, arguments forgiven and forgotten, friendships renewed and strengthened.Read more

The Black Cloud Speaks (to himself?)

Over the years the Black Cloud has been at once a gleaming star of LowBall and the hated villain of over exuberant wiffle geekdom. He is at times misunderstood and despised and at others triumphant and unifying. He has two Wifftobers and an asterisked Summer Classic and seems to be in his prime.

The Cloud has traditionally turned away from interviews, preferring an appropriate cloak of mystique. By pulling many favors I, celebrated wiffle journalist Hugh Wifflerton, was able to gain unprecedented access to the dark sheep of LowBall following his rise to Wifftober IV. Some would say that I got too close, that I was him, however it was the only way to obtain this interview. Enjoy - HughRead more

The Weight of Wifftober

I pulled into Lincoln, socks were well past the calf;
I just need some place where I can swing my bat.
"Hey, mister, can you tell me where a man might find a game?"
He just grinned and shook my hand, "Gotta throw", he exclaimed.

Take LowBall off Lagers, take LowBall for free;Read more

Is El Guapo Dead?

As the dust settles from the weekend's drama filled Mid Summer's Classic, the questions start to arise. Why was there no funeral for El Guapo and where is the body? The LowPress has petitioned the Friendly Confines for the opportunity to view the deceased. However to date, these requests have been firmly denied.

A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "perhaps the LowPress should spend more time writing about the actual wiffle and less time fabricating these tall tales."Read more