Blogs

WOWS BETWEEN WIFFLERS - Speculation mounts as Unshod fails to register for Wifftober IX

The Unshod One has had many a brilliant moments on the Wiffle field, if only those brilliant moments could last through to the pending and highly anticipated 2015 Wifftober IX show down. Alas, a scandal of unprecedented caliber has unfolded in front of us. Rumors abound as the Unshod One has been spotted gallivanting about on the north shore of Puerto Rico with non other than the 2014 WOW of the year, La Guapacita. Though the rumors are just that, there is question as to the reason that they have been seen together on multiple occasions. Some say lust and some say tactical moves to ruffle feathers of the talented, headline worthy L Guapo and inevitably get closer to the chalice coveted by so many Wifflers. This “distraction” from his Wiff-career, has resulted in his unquestionable missing of the deadline for the placement on the 2015 Wifftober roster.

As a result of Unshod's deceptive and unrealistic association with the powerful La Guapacita, Beatrix Boobssofine, Lowball's first commissioner of WOWZA, Wives of WifflerZ Alliance, has banned the Unshod One from playing in Wifftober IX despite exceptional play and attendance during the entire 2015 exhibitions. Since the accusation, Unshod's guilt has been fiercely debated with new accounts claiming his innocence beckoning the WOWZA organization to reconsider his banishment. As a result of this scandal The Unshod Ones career could be abruptly halted in his prime, which would ensure him a place in setting records in Lowball lore forever… though disowned by his fellow wifflers on the field. Or, his reasoning could redeem him for the supposed gallivant as well as his near universal respect on the field. We will know more once the Supreme Comissioner and the WOWZA have reviewed his plea and official registration.Read more

The Definitive Guide to Wiffle Bat Collecting

In a small corner of the internet, a special group of wiffle nerds are constantly scanning for obscure wood and plastic bats of years past. This subculture of vintage wiffle bat collecting has exploded in recent years to at least 10-12 people. Unfortunately the documentation concerning these bats has not kept up with this explosion. As part of Wifftober week, the LowPress visited uber wiffle nerd The Black Cloud to take an indepth look at his collection. During this visit, we also reviewed the most recent 100 sales of vintage bats on the internet. As with every investigative piece on the the LowPress, the research was done quickly and with little regard for perfection. Read more

Wifftober IX Preview - No matter where you go, there you are

Yes wiffle fanatics, with Wifftober IX a mere handful of days off, it's like deja vu all over again. Wifflers are reading the fine print of their Wifftober contracts and signing up one by one as I type. I want to thank all those wifflers for making this day necessary. The big game is not too far off, it just seems like it is. As is a contractually forced tradition, I, famed wiffle journalist Hugh S. Wifflerton, am here to provide a graduate level course in Wifftober. While others try to imitate my preview style, they cannot copy me. Read more

The Fields

The One Game Season - An UPDATED Brief-ish History of Wifftober

By all scientific methods known to man, there is no better way to determine the season of Fall than Wifflers competing in the Wifftober championship. For many years now, a group of dedicated plastic practitioners have gathered for a day long wiffle battle spread across multiple fields and played through whatever weather Lord Wiffle deems appropriate. At the conclusion of the day, some Wifflers triumphantly spill beer from Lord Wiffle's Chalice all over there grass stained jerseys while others wallow in the realization that they will be losers for an entire year. The following summarizes the Wifftobers played to date, click on the title for full write-ups.

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Questions for Season IX

The epic novel that is LowBall will ink its 9th chapter this summer and fans will be treated to yet another season of twists and turns. For an unprecedented ninth year, the great wifflers of LowBall will gather for an undetermined number of games spread sporadically over six months. At the conclusion, a handful of talented and lucky wifflers will celebrate with a long guzzle from Lord Wiffle's Chalice.

As we all await the season opener with nervous anticipation, let's take a look at some of the questions that linger and we hope to have answered this year. We polled the three readers of the LowPress and determined the following to be the most important unknowns.Read more


1. What's the deal with the fields?

Breaking News: Wifftober is good, very good.

I, David Wiffleberg, debatably the second most celebrated Wiffle journalist, have returned to the LowPress from a season long, completely self-chosen “sabbatical.” I totally sabbaticaled on my own. Despite the swirling rumors, it has nothing to do with the “suspension” the LowPress handed down on upon me for embezzling $23.75, or stealing a copy of “Swinging Bunt” and 4 stickers, or pillaging the LowBall museum and/or leaking the Wifftober 8 poster months ahead of time.Read more

W8 - The Poster

W8 - The Wifflerton Preview

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Aright let's do this you wiffle wonks, it is finally that magical time of year when a bunch of middle-ish age men play a child's game for an entire day. Yes my friends, it is finally Wifftober 8 and I for one have drank enough Wild Turkey 101 to be excited. For only the eighth time ever, this year's big game will pit the Lagers of Lincoln against the Loggers of Lincoln. A coalition of the willing wifflers has been sent via embossed bubble gum wrappers to the office of the commissioner and now we lay in wait as the Supreme One retires to his sweat lodge retreat to bump knuckles with the wiffle moose and Lord Wiffle willing fabricate the line-ups for W8.Read more

The Guapo Decision

El Guapo took to local access cable today, in an attempt to raise money for his charity Guapo's Bobble Belly Soup Kitchen, and announced that he would be taking his talents to South Portland. Despite weeks of speculation, including confirmation from the miniature horse from Wifftober II, a close personal friend of El Guapo's, the LowBall nation collectively stood in shock. Some of the more reactionary fans proceeded to burn their ill tailored white Lager jerseys while others, including I, famed wiffle journalist Hugh S. Wifflerton, just openly sobbed into their High Lifes. It would seem the #StayGuap twitter campaign was of little consequence.Read more

A Treasury of Haiku

The Low Press, being the best wiffle electronic publication in the world, extends its readership to the farthest regions. Below is an excerpt from the premier Chinese wiffle poet, Akinori Wiffamura.

Get your cleats bats balls
Fresh cut grass signs of season
Time now for LowballRead more